Entries
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Read Color Me Confused, Part 2 Director: "This shot is looking too purple. Make it less purple." Me: "Okay, I can tak...
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Read Flat-Out Confused I explain I can't give her a free omelette, and she walks back to the buffet, grabs a plate, a...
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Read Parts Unknown Tech: "So, how old did you say this computer is?" Me: "I have no idea, it was my grandmother's. I ...
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Read Down In The Lumps Customer: "Hey, this ranch has got lumps in it!" Me: "That's the blue cheese dip. The ranch is...
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Read Wing And A Miss Me: "There's a very different price shown for this on the tag than what these self-checkouts say...
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Read Sleeping On The Solution A guy comes up to me with a bottle of NyQuil. Customer: "Do you have any of this stuff ...
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Read A Bombshell Of An Update District Manager: "[Store Manager] said you were insubordinate yesterday. We need to di...
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Read H2(Placeb)O Customer: "I want a Coke with diet ice." Me: "A Diet Coke with ice?" Customer: "No, a regular Coke, ...
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Read Where Did You Come From, Where Did You Go… Sound’s On Now, Thanks to Joe Bartender: "We can’t play the sound for...
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Read To Get Pizza Dough Cough Up Some Dough I'm delivering a pizza. A guy is paying for a $20 order. Customer: "Can y...
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Read He Needs To Be More Independent, No Bones About It Caller: "Could I get like… hmm… whatchu'callit… boneless pizz...
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Read Human Decency Stats At Level 99 Manager: "Hurry it up!" Me: "What do you mean?" Manager: "You've spent almost ha...
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Read A Closed Loop Conversation Me: "Hi, thank you for calling [Copy Shop], open 24 hours. How can I help you?" Calle...
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Read Twins Do Everything Together I have an identical twin sister. People often ask if we ever experienced sympathy p...
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Read Didn’t See It Coming Through All The Smoke Me: "Oi! I know you can hear me! Stop smoking! There's a sign!" Guy: ...
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Read Of Breadsticks And Blurred Lines Caller: "Hi, I'd like to order a pizza." Me: "Sir, this you've called an optici...
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Read I’ve recently moved back near Washington, DC, just in time for my 37th birthday. Not having many friends around,...
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Read Love Hurts Nurse: "Can you assess bed three?" Me: "What do the notes say?" Nurse: "Uh… foreign body." Read Love ...
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Read Many years ago I went on a two-week vacation to Spain where I visited several cities. I’m at the airport on my r...
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Read Walked Into That One Customer: "Oh, actually, can you get me a duplicate pair? I don’t want to wear the shoes ev...