Sep 23, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Kale Force Winds Read Kale Force Winds Me: "You really don't look like you're enjoying that." Colleague: "It's actually a really good salad, but I'm tired of having healthy food all week." Me: "Why? On a health kic...
Sep 22, 2026 from Jumbled Thoughts of a Fake Geek Boy Cover the Mirrors, Uncover the Crime Russell Stone is a Rabbi whose career is on the slide. His run-down synagogue has been deserted by more or less everyone other than his cantor, Josh; the downbeat, miserable, occasionally outright ...
Sep 22, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Raising The Steaks And Lowering The Prices Read Raising The Steaks And Lowering The Prices Customer: "So, about my steak and side?" Me: "Yes?" Customer: "Can I get another steak instead of the side?" Me: "No, ma'am." Read Raising The Steaks...
Sep 22, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Five-Point Business Plan Read Five-Point Business Plan Supervisor: "Are you drawing pentagrams?" Me: "Pentacles." Supervisor: "What's the difference?" Read Five-Point Business Plan
Sep 22, 2026 from Jumbled Thoughts of a Fake Geek Boy PC Pick-and-Mix: Megastructure Mayhem! A while back I reviewed Blackshard, a horror-themed walking simulator set in a vast futuristic megastructure. Such settings, like the one from Blame!, are kind of well-suited for videogame adaptati...
Sep 22, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Think Before You Ink, Part 14 Read Think Before You Ink, Part 14 My tattoo artist is giving me a tattoo and is totally focused on me. Some guy wanders into the store, looks around, and says to my artist: Customer: "So, y'all do...
Sep 22, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com It’s Not Flexible If It Only Bends One Way Read It’s Not Flexible If It Only Bends One Way The next day, the manager calls my attention to the schedule. Me: "You put me on Friday morning. I told you I can't do Friday mornings; I have class...
Sep 22, 2026 from The Universe of Discourse Work diary victory [ Content warning: mundane, rambly, neurotic. ] A couple of years back I wrote a long whiny blog article about putting up some shelves in the bathroom and how miserable it had made me to do it. I s...
Sep 22, 2026 from Stranger Than Usual Lilith Wittmann zerforscht illegale Online-Casinos Lilith Wittmann hat mal wieder zugeschlagen und die Strukturen hinter illegalen Onlinecasinos aufgedeckt.
Sep 22, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Someone Is About To Be Very Melon-cholic Read Someone Is About To Be Very Melon-cholic I'm checking out an older couple. I scan two melons and place them in the bagging area when the old guy says: Old Guy: "How much for the melons?" Me: "...
Sep 22, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Tie Hard Read Tie Hard I got called to the carpet for wearing black Skechers to work, so I started coming in every day dressed to the nines. We're talking cufflinks, high-quality silk ties, a gold face meta...
Sep 22, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Their Brains Are (En)Closed To The Obvious Read Their Brains Are (En)Closed To The Obvious One of the huge enclosures is designed to resemble a tropical landscape. A family has just entered the enclosure from a colder, controlled climate an...
Sep 22, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Miata Made A Slight Miscalculation Read Miata Made A Slight Miscalculation Customer: "I need help loading a grill." He has a big six-burner, which is taking up an entire flatbed cart. He leads me out to his Miata. I make a face. Cus...
Sep 22, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com The Position Is Still… Open Read The Position Is Still… Open My boss is conducting job interviews. One of the women being interviewed, when exiting his office, almost sprints to the elevators. She can't get out of here fast e...
Sep 22, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com How To Lose A Wife In 40 Minutes Read How To Lose A Wife In 40 Minutes Customer: "If I bring my wife to this movie, is she gonna like it?" Me: "Does your wife like R-rated gory horror movies with a tone of despair and a nihilistic...
Sep 22, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com A New Kind Of Red Scare Read A New Kind Of Red Scare I'm watching the news when my kid cousin (five years old) wanders in and watches part of it with me. It's some news about war and stuff, and my cousin says: Cousin: "Ar...
Sep 22, 2026 from Adventures in Open Source Software 2026 Percona Live EU - Amsterdam I was super-eager to attend my first Percona Live as a Perconian. While I was supposed to be at the one in the US in May, my life was overtaken by events and I didn’t make it, so this was my first ...
Sep 22, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com A Parent Trap Of Your Own Making Read A Parent Trap Of Your Own Making Older Woman: "You should be ashamed!" Older Man: "Excuse me?" Older Woman: *Pointing to his dining companion.* "She's young enough to be your daughter!" Read A...
Sep 22, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com We Bag To Differ Read We Bag To Differ Customer: *With a very confrontational tone.* "These bags are way too heavy! There's no way I can carry these home!" I’m looking at her, unsure of what to say. I have no idea ...
Sep 22, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read My family is overweight due to a combination of mental health issues, poor diet, and lack of exercise. I was bullied as a child for having a “fat family” so I did what I could to stay lean. My...
