Jul 23, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com The Garden Variety Complaint Read The Garden Variety Complaint I work at a botanical garden. Every winter we get variations of the same complaint: Visitor: "I drove all this way, and there's nothing to see! It's all snow!" It ...
Jul 23, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Objectionable Request Read Objectionable Request Lawyer: "I can’t see the other guy! Make it so I can see them!" Me: "They've turned off their webcam." Lawyer: "So turn it on." Me: "I can't." Lawyer: "Yes, you can, you'...
Jul 23, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com This Customer Is Such A Drag (Coefficient) Read This Customer Is Such A Drag (Coefficient) Customer: "You need a calculator for that stupid little bit of math? Did you even go to college?" Me: *Not looking up from my calculations.* "You nee...
Jul 23, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Looking Down On You Writing Up Read Looking Down On You Writing Up I still keep in touch with my old team members through Microsoft Teams and have yet to be removed from that site's official work-related chat. Thanks to this, I ...
Jul 23, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 31 Read Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 31 Customer: "Oh, I know the owner." Friend: "I'm the owner… wait, long lost Aunt Maud? Wow, I didn't recognize you with both eyebrows and no ankle monitor!" R...
Jul 23, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Calamari Is A Stupid Name For A Type Of Onion Anyway… Read Calamari Is A Stupid Name For A Type Of Onion Anyway… Customer: *Points to a picture.* "What's that option?" Me: "Butter, sour cream, bacon, cheese, and scallions." Customer: "Everything but t...
Jul 23, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Blunt Delivery Read Blunt Delivery Boss: "[My Name], you transposed these two numbers on the spreadsheet." Me: "I haven't gone through it to check the figures yet, but thanks for spotting it." Boss: "I really hop...
Jul 23, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com The Capitol Offense Read The Capitol Offense Tourist: "Is that your Capitol Building?" Me: "No, that's St. Paul's Cathedral." Tourist: "But why is it copying our Capitol building?" Me: "It's not? I can see how the lar...
Jul 23, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com A Breath-Taking Performance Read A Breath-Taking Performance My younger brother was seven years old at the time, and I was stuck with him at the mall. We were at the music store, and I was looking at the cassette singles on t...
Jul 23, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Looking At The Lager Picture Read Looking At The Lager Picture Woman: "Why are you drunk?" Man: "Because I've been drinking." Woman: "Why have you been drinking?" Man: "Because it gets me drunk!" Read Looking At The Lager Picture
Jul 23, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Quesa-Duh Read Quesa-Duh Customer: "No beans? Not even chicken?" I explained to her what our plain quesadilla entails, and she immediately freezes up and says: Customer: "Wait, there's cheese in this?! I can...
Jul 23, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read (My boss is a landscaper with a second business that I work at. He shared this story as he was coming back from work.) Policeman: You’re not going to get through here, a tree has fallen on the...
Jul 23, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read It’s 2020 and I’m in my late 40s. I’d been raised to believe there were two sexualities: gay and straight and that’s it. Since I was attracted to all genders I just labelled myself as straight...
Jul 23, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read I’m at the checkout of a local supermarket. After the first couple of items, I notice there aren’t any beeps or the total changing. A manager appears behind the cashier and we both notice that...
Jul 23, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Climate Change Read Climate Change Table #1: "It's so cold in here; can't you raise the heat?" Me: "Sorry, ma'am, the thermostat is automatic." Table #2: "It's so warm in here... can't you get the AC on? " Read C...
Jul 23, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read (I am driving with my wife and a friend in a direction where we can see the local volcano.) Wife: “Look at the steam!” Friend: “Isn’t it a bit early in the year for that?” Wife: “…No, the volc...
Jul 23, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read A good friend is visiting me at my home when my son, who is nearly 2 years old, has a bad fall resulting in a scrapped up knee. I’ve picked him up and kissed the proffered scrap but despite my...
Jul 23, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com It’s Kinda A Big Dill Read It’s Kinda A Big Dill Customer: "And can I get a burger but with extra fried pickles on the bottom?" Me: "You got it." Customer: "But like… pickle the h*** out of this burger." Me: "I'll do th...
Jul 23, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read I work in a grocery store. Since I’m young and female, I do occasionally get to roll my eyes at overly flirtatious customers, but I’m far too short and broad to be a popular target. One day, I...
Jul 23, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 32 Read No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 32 Caller: "It's only 9:45!" Me: "The deadline is based on our warehouse's time zone." Caller: "So change it." Me: "…change what?" Read No Fortitude For Longit...
