Sep 03, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ²H-OMG! Read ²H-OMG! Customer: "Get me a soda, but I want ice that doesn't float." Me: "I can fill the cup with ice so that the ice touches the bottom, but all ice floats in water." Read ²H-OMG!
Sep 03, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Good McMorning! Read Good McMorning! Me: "Good morning." Customer: "It's afternoon." I checked my phone. Me: "It's 11:15." Read Good McMorning!
Sep 03, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Strawberry Fields For Never Read Strawberry Fields For Never New Guy: "Can I help you?" Older Sister: "We placed a mobile order." *Shows her phone, which had our order.* New Guy: "You'll need to pay for it." Older Sister: "Uh...
Sep 03, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Certified As Lost In Translation Read Certified As Lost In Translation Customer: "How do I know you're a certified translator?" Me: "[Notary/Embassy/Firm] gave you my contact, did they not?" Customer: "Sure, but I still need to se...
Sep 03, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Modern Tech Is Out Cold Read Modern Tech Is Out Cold Our family is driving from one Canadian province to another on the way to see extended family. It's -30°C (-22°F) outside, so we're all wrapped up warm in the car. The ...
Sep 03, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Mind The App Read Mind The App Lady: "Do you know the way to [Hotel]?" Me: "Let's look it up." I opened up Google Maps on my phone, and she said: Lady: "Well, I have Google Maps too! I could just do that myself...
Sep 03, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Lettuce Begin With The Basics Read Lettuce Begin With The Basics Guest: "Your salad bar doesn't have any food!" Supervisor: "Oh, I'm sorry, we try to make sure everything is stocked up. What is out? I can have someone go refill...
Sep 03, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read My first job was in a restaurant as a dishwasher and I had the most horrible boss who put me in tears more then once. I could make several stories out of how bad she was but this is about the ...
Sep 03, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read I celebrated a birthday recently, so my wife, sister, parents, and I all went out to a local restaurant to celebrate. While we were waiting for our food, I showed my parents the birthday cards...
Sep 03, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Serving Them Right Read Serving Them Right Me: "Howdy guys, my name is [My Name], and I'll be taking care of you today! What can I getcha fellas to drink?" One looks at me for a second and says: Customer: "Can we get...
Sep 03, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read This happened a few years ago while my wife was almost bedridden due to health issues. She could handle getting up for the bathroom or some snacks, but that’s about it. Important note, in our ...
Sep 03, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read When I was on active duty, HMW (Health, Morale and Welfare) was the office on Marine bases that ran everything that took your mind off your job – the gyms, snack bars, bowling alleys, etc. Alo...
Sep 03, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Dad Ex Machina Read Dad Ex Machina Customer: "Why wasn't it in the hot-n-ready box?!" Me: "It was about to be moved there in less than a minute anyway. Our pizzas usually sit in a hot oven for a couple of minutes...
Sep 03, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read I joined my friends for brunch, and we arrived much earlier than our reservation, so got coffee at a place across the street. We then got coffee once we sat down. Predictably, after all that l...
Sep 03, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read Me: Good morning! I’m Mai, your nurse today. Could you tell your name and date of birth? Patient: Panicking voice “It’s Mr. Hung and please, please don’t stab me with a needle!” Me: I promise,...
Sep 03, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Squeezing Out Your Profits Read Squeezing Out Your Profits Customer: "It's gone bad, it’s so mushy on the inside! Look!" She then proceeded to push her thumbnail right through the orange. After a short pause, all I could say...
Sep 03, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Breakfast Of Chumps Read Breakfast Of Chumps Me: "Sir, please stop. You can't put that muffin in our toaster." Guest: "It's a blueberry breakfast muffin!" Me: "It's too big for the toaster. It's going to touch the hea...
Sep 03, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Fantastic Beasts And When To Find Them Read Fantastic Beasts And When To Find Them Dad: "What time do the bears usually come out, because my children want to see one?" Usually at this point I take a moment to look into the eyes of the t...
Sep 03, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com A Lack Of Roll Models Read A Lack Of Roll Models Shortly after starting there, I noticed that either my female coworker or I are the only ones replacing empty toilet paper rolls. I asked my female coworker about this, a...
Sep 03, 2026 from Noahie's Blog Arrogant Ineptitude Fuck self-redemption. I can't do this shit alone. I hate this world, but I love the people in it enough to stick around. I guess that's why God lets us be so stupid—excuse me, lets me be so stupid—...
