Aug 26, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Day Care, Don’t Care Read Day Care, Don’t Care Parent: "I've just decided that you shouldn't be charging us." Me: "I… uh, what?" Parent: "The way I see it, you'd be here looking after your own kid all day anyway, so it...
Aug 26, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Don’t Have A Cow, Man Read Don’t Have A Cow, Man Customer: "I need 600 kg of beef mince." Me: "You mean 600 grams?" Customer: "Nope, I have 600 kg written down on my list." Me: "Do you know how much mince that is?" Read...
Aug 26, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Live From Last Summer! Read Live From Last Summer! Me: "[Boss], did the security company report any outages?" Boss: "Are you talking about the CCTV stuff?" Me: "Yes? You know that it's down already?" Boss: "Of course I k...
Aug 26, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Miso Confused Right Now Read Miso Confused Right Now Caller: "And make sure the soup is on the side!" I'm here thinking like, yeah, of course it’s gonna come on the side. It’s a soup and goes into its own cup. I repeat t...
Aug 26, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com The Makeup Of American Politics Read The Makeup Of American Politics It's the season of the US Presidential Election, which is always a fun time to be around my aunt (sarcasm). She's swinging by to say hello and asks me: Aunt: "H...
Aug 26, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com That Was A Ruff Landing Read That Was A Ruff Landing We were at a very popular off-leash area the day after Christmas, with lots of dogs happily playing and running, chasing after frisbees and balls. This sweet family sho...
Aug 26, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Drop That Customer Like It’s Hot Read Drop That Customer Like It’s Hot Customer: "Can I get a ticket to 'Snoop Dog Millionaire'?" Me: "Uh, you mean 'Slumdog Millionaire'?" Customer: "No! Snoop Dog!" Read Drop That Customer Like It...
Aug 26, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read When this happened I lived in an apartment. One day I get back home and, when entering the hall from the main door, I hear two loud voices: a couple is having a fight there. When I look up I a...
Aug 26, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Well, Since We’re Making Things Up… Read Well, Since We’re Making Things Up… Boy: "What's wrong with her? Does she have chicken pox?" The mom looks at me and responds: Mom: "No, but see all those scars, that’s what happens when you d...
Aug 26, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read This was at the liquor store I worked at for ten years. (I’m also the author of the story about the meth head who tried to break in, and the worst fake ID ever made) Ten years in a small town ...
Aug 26, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com No Room In The Budget Read No Room In The Budget I had a mom come to check in, and she leaned in close and told me they can’t afford the room they booked, which was an upgraded room for $600/night. I downgraded her to a...
Aug 26, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read (I’m the author of the story “Straining Training”. Reading that story, you could be forgiven for thinking that my boss doesn’t really “get” training… because it’s true. Here’s a few gems, pick...
Aug 26, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read When I was a little kid, many many years ago, there was this hawker in our little town, who used to roam the streets in a little truck, loaded to the brim with all the merchandise he was selli...
Aug 26, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Missing The (Connection) Point Read Missing The (Connection) Point Customer: "I want you to install a 3G card into my laptop." Me: "Okay, I see the laptop. Where is the 3G card?" Customer: "Oh, I don't have it with me. You need ...
Aug 26, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read A guy is buying something with cash. I notice that the bill he hands me has a distinct, fresh, yellowish brown streak on it. Me (Dreading the answer already): “Sir, is this fecal matter on you...
Aug 26, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read I work in a restaurant that offers several vegetarian and vegan options. Two (admittedly large) women come in, and I seat them and take their orders. Woman #1: I’ll have [vegan dish]. Woman #2...
Aug 26, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com This Request Is Off The Rails Read This Request Is Off The Rails Customer: "Hello, there are protesters blocking the tracks." Cousin: "Yes, we’ve been informed. Are you concerned about a freight train?" Caller: "No, I’m a passe...
Aug 26, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Free Of Worries, Not Free Of Gluten Read Free Of Worries, Not Free Of Gluten Me: "Any food allergies or intolerances I should be aware of?" Customer: "Gluten." Me: "Okay, well unfortunately, the potstickers are covered and fried in w...
Aug 26, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com The Great White Nope Read The Great White Nope Me: "I'm sorry, but you can't paint outside in this weather. It's minus twenty out, and the paint is water-based, so it will freeze and peel up. You should wait until the ...
Aug 26, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Not A Very Expansive Memory Read Not A Very Expansive Memory Me: "I was on Reddit, and—" Bonny: *Scandalized.* "You were on Reddit?!" Me: *Puzzled.* "Uh, yes?" Bonny: "Why were you on Reddit?!" Read Not A Very Expansive Memory
