Feb 20, 2026 from Peter's Path Announcing Swift System Metrics 1.0 We are excited to announce the 1.0 release of Swift System Metrics, a Swift package that collects process-level system metrics like CPU utilization time and memory usage. Swift System Metrics runs ...
Feb 20, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com What Musical Are You Watching? Oh, All Of Them. Read What Musical Are You Watching? Oh, All Of Them. Some gay friends invite us over to watch a movie, and we end up picking a film called 'The Big Gay Musical.' One of the husbands is Chinese-Amer...
Feb 20, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com When The Owner Delivers A Religious Experience Read When The Owner Delivers A Religious Experience Head Customer: "Excuse me, can you not see that we're having a conversation?" The other women were wearing puckered faces and scowls, glaring and...
Feb 20, 2026 from Thejesh GN Weekly Notes 08/2026 Uma loves singing. Recently, she has been humming ಬಾನ ದಾರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಸೂರ್ಯ ಜಾರಿಹೋದ. I wanted to create a karaoke version of it. Since the video already had the lyrics embedded, all I needed to do was se...
Feb 20, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Well… That Clotted Cream Can Get Kinda Heavy Read Well… That Clotted Cream Can Get Kinda Heavy I'm at home, eight years old at the time, doing basic science homework. Me: "What direction does gravity pull you?" Mum: "Down." Read Well… That Cl...
Feb 20, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com They Must Be Fun To Overhear At Parties… Read They Must Be Fun To Overhear At Parties… Son: "Can I ask you a question?" Friend: "You just did." Son: "Can I ask you another one?" Friend: "You just did that, too." Read They Must Be Fun To O...
Feb 20, 2026 from Galaxy Garden Bak Baan's Second Litter of Puppies One of my uncles is taking care of our family durian plantation, with a dog he rescued as a stray a year ago and named Bak Baan after the mahjong tile 白板. My parents and I met Bak Baan for the firs...
Feb 20, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Seeing The Frames But Missing The Point Read Seeing The Frames But Missing The Point Doctor: "Can I help you?" Man: "Oh, no, we're just browsing, thank you." Doctor: "You'll need to make an appointment to get glasses. Would you like my r...
Feb 20, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read (My stepdad recounted this story to me while my mom was at work one day. He ran to the local department store with a spoon in hand and spots a group of workers standing together.) Stepdad: Exc...
Feb 20, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Some Of Them Speak Quite Young, But C’mon… Read Some Of Them Speak Quite Young, But C’mon… My then-baby niece was born with a bruise below her chest (it’s something vascular, I believe, and, as far as I know, she still has it). Before the h...
Feb 20, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read I just read this story (https://notalwaysright.com/marketers-reverting-baby-talk/103487/), which reminded me of the time the same thing happened to me. My son is almost 20 now. When he was bor...
Feb 20, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 56 Read I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 56 Employee: "Sir, can we help you?" Customer: "F****** new guy needs an attitude adjustment." Me: "I don’t work here." Employee: "He doesn’t work h...
Feb 20, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read We were the… well, not “idiots”* but ignorant ones in this story. My cousin and I went to Japan, a lifelong dream of ours. Thing is, my cousin is almost blind, legally recognized as handicappe...
Feb 20, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com When The Bigot Literally Types Their Own Case File Read When The Bigot Literally Types Their Own Case File Me: "Sir, our technicians are selected based on skill and certifications. According to our constitution, discrimination on the grounds of ski...
Feb 20, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read So, reading the news, this has apparently happened all over again recently. https://fortune.com/2024/08/30/office-retreat-man-left-behind-coworkers-mountain-summit-freezing-rain/ . My story wa...
Feb 20, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read Almost 10 years ago now, I was in my early 20s and my sister was a senior in high school. Our mother had been absent from our lives for many years, and our dad had died a few months prior from...
Feb 20, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Preschool Precogs Read Preschool Precogs Girl: "Do you have a security person or something?" Me: "Not really, but I can probably help you." Girl: "Um, you might need to call the police then." Me: "What's wrong?" Rea...
Feb 20, 2026 from The New Leaf Journal Video Game Home Console Success By Generation I take a look at the top-three market share in North America for home consoles sold in North America by generation, beginning with the NES-dominated generation 3 and going through Switch's superlat...
Feb 20, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com The Travel Insurance Quote For 5.5 Million People Is… Read The Travel Insurance Quote For 5.5 Million People Is… Me: "Good afternoon, [Bank Insurance Name], you're through to [My Name], can I take your account number, please?" Angry Scot: *Sighs.* "It...
Feb 20, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com For The iPod You Should iDouble-Check Read For The iPod You Should iDouble-Check Customer: "I want an iPod." Me: "We have a range of them over here—" Customer: "—and I wanna pay for it with this." He hands me a coupon that says "Free i...
