May 12, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 21 Read Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 21 Customer: "Before we start, I need you to understand that I have a severe gluten allergy. Not a preference. Not a diet. If there’s any gluten in my foo...
May 12, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Root Cause Analysis Read Root Cause Analysis Today I went to the endodontist to get a root canal. As he was about to give me a numbing shot, he found out that the "internet was down". Dentist: "I can't do anything unt...
May 12, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Private Practice, Public Broadcast Read Private Practice, Public Broadcast Me: "Hello, sir, this is [My Name] from the front desk. Your neighboring room has called to say that your conversation is too loud and you need to talk more ...
May 12, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com No Such Thing As Two Much Pizza Read No Such Thing As Two Much Pizza Caller: "This is ridiculous! I ordered three pizzas from you, and all of them are wrong!" I double-check the caller ID, as I am confused. Me: "Your order hasn't...
May 12, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com QR You Kidding? Read QR You Kidding? Me: "We're ready to order, but—" Waitress: "—You do it on the app." Me: "—but… we need to make some allergy accommodations." Waitress: "You do it on the app." Read QR You Kidding?
May 12, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com A Recipe For Confusion Read A Recipe For Confusion New Hire: "Hey, [My Name], can you help me? I have an old lady who is looking for Iteb vinegar." Me: "Iteb? Is that a brand?" New Hire: "I don't know! I can't find it." ...
May 12, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Heavenly Holdings Read Heavenly Holdings Dad: "What would you do if you had more money than anyone else in the world?" Me: "How much is that?" Dad: "So much that it doesn't matter. More money than anyone else!" Me: ...
May 12, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Ale-ergic Reaction Read Ale-ergic Reaction Friend: "I think I'm allergic to alcohol!" Me: "What makes you say that?" Friend: "When I went home after the pub yesterday, I threw up!" Read Ale-ergic Reaction
May 12, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Must Have Winged It In Math Class Read Must Have Winged It In Math Class Customer: *Opens up a container.* "I just had this delivered to my house, and I want you to tell me what's wrong with it." The manager looks in the container....
May 12, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read The Netherlands might be small, but we have distinct accents all over the place. For example, we have the ‘soft spoken flat g’ from the province Brabant. It’s a very typical accent and if you ...
May 12, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Follow The Plan, Not The Panic Read Follow The Plan, Not The Panic We had a new-ish admin in the building who was going to play a game to "really prepare us for a real emergency". Policy and the law be d***ed, she was going to s...
May 12, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read Back when I worked at a grocery store, the dress code included proper dress trousers; no leggings, no jeans. Almost immediately after I got there, the whole staff was breaking the dress code, ...
May 12, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read I’m a part-time employee in a grocery store. My shift usually starts at 10 am, but I am chronically early to everything and need to pick up a prescription from the pharmacy before clocking in,...
May 12, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com A Soft Phone But A Hard Nope Read A Soft Phone But A Hard Nope Caller: "I will sit here ON HOLD with you until you get me an appointment TODAY!" Me: "That's fine, sir, but it might be a while. I can contact my supervisor by ch...
May 12, 2026 from Chronicles of Miss Miseria [dVerse] May 11th - The Bird Did Not Fly The Bird Did Not FlyBy Tuesday morning, the cage had learned my name. It said it softly, in Ma’s voice, from the kitchen window where the caged parrot hung beside the basil. I had returned after tw...
May 12, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read After reading this story (https://notalwaysright.com/things-almost-went-down-the-drain-here/359376/) I recall us being in roughly the same boat once. When my then-girlfriend (now-wife) and I w...
May 12, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read One of my first jobs was working at the front desk of a medical clinic. The working hours were 7:30am to 4:00pm and people were late occasionally, but it usually wasn’t a big deal. During a we...
May 12, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Could Have Been Named After Anyone? Anyone? Read Could Have Been Named After Anyone? Anyone? I am at the drug store paying for my things. I notice the cashier's name is Ferris. From the movie 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off.' Me: "You were named a...
May 12, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read When I was in high school in the late 90s, some kids figured out that the soda and snack vending machines in the student lounge would accept photocopied $1 bills. They made a bunch of copies a...
May 12, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com You Can’t Sweep It Under The Rug Read You Can’t Sweep It Under The Rug Caller: "I've had this carpet down for a month, and there’s dirt and hair all over it. It’s supposed to be stain-proof!" Me: "There is no such thing as stain-p...
