Feb 19, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Time To Burn The Car, It’s The Only Way To Be Sure Read Time To Burn The Car, It’s The Only Way To Be Sure I hate spiders. When my son was about four, we were riding in the car, and I heard his voice pipe up with: Son: "Mom! There's a spider on you...
Feb 19, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com The Call Is Coming From Inside The Phone! Read The Call Is Coming From Inside The Phone! Friend: "I can't find my phone!" Me: "So you're trying to call it to hear it ring?" Friend: "Yeah, but every time I try to call my number, it doesn't ...
Feb 19, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Dead Plant’s Society Read Dead Plant’s Society Store policy that said we would accept returns of dead plants within a year of purchase. We only required you to bring in the dead plant (no joke) and proof of purchase (r...
Feb 19, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read Last year I had 9 asthma attacks in 2 weeks. 7 of them were in one weekend. At the time I had a different doctor than I have now. But, I was planning on changing to my current doctor “S”. She ...
Feb 19, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Another Kind Of Honor Roll Read Another Kind Of Honor Roll Due to various mental health issues (both diagnosed and undiagnosed) and a complicated credit situation, I was a frequent flyer in my high school’s guidance office. ...
Feb 19, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read Years ago, my wife was fascinated with Roombas, and wanted one (she’d never go out and buy it, since we usually had two vacuum cleaners at home, a larger one and a smaller one, but she still w...
Feb 19, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com You Have Zero Effs When You Can Add A Zero To The Bill Read You Have Zero Effs When You Can Add A Zero To The Bill Customer: "I'm here. I want to be served." Owner: "We don't really have the capacity to do your hair, since the slots for the rest of the...
Feb 19, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read My teacher in 3rd grade (8-9 years old) was a miserable old witch who ended up being my first bully. In her class, I finished a spelling test early and, for whatever reason, wrote “I am bored”...
Feb 19, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read I am an accountant and tax preparer. One of my clients is an old lady in her mid 80s. She recently retired from slinging pizzas at a nationwide C-Store. Our state has, as do many others, a cla...
Feb 19, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read I was 6 or 7 at the time. My parents decided they wanted a night out away from me and my brothers so they hired a sitter. They left and she sat. Actually all she did was sit and talk on the ph...
Feb 19, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Rain Check (Literally) Read Rain Check (Literally) It's raining very heavily outside, which is unusual for my part of the world. A customer runs in, looking wet and p***ed. Customer: "Do you sell raincoats?!" Read Rain C...
Feb 19, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Untitled Read It’s hot out and the store where I work has a certain brand’s ice cream pints on sale, Buy One Get One Free. A group of about 6 kids (probably around 14-15 years old) come up to my register wi...
Feb 19, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Thirty Days Of Nope Read Thirty Days Of Nope Customer: "It doesn't work anymore." Me: "Sir, this receipt is two years old. Our return policy is thirty days." Customer: "Well… uh, it stopped working before thirty days,...
Feb 19, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Please Discard All Liquids And Bigotry Before Entering Security Read Please Discard All Liquids And Bigotry Before Entering Security Guy: *Handing me their passports.* "Yeah, we're going to Bali." Me: "Oh, how nice!" The guy then looks up and down the check-in ...
Feb 19, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Pay No Mind Read Pay No Mind This is when a new customer arrives and, of course, I move to give her some space at the counter. I wonder for a second why she doesn’t move on to give her order. I glance quickly ...
Feb 19, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com When The Cold Snap Makes You Snap Read When The Cold Snap Makes You Snap Customer: "So, do I qualify for a discount?" Me: "For what reason, sir?" Customer: "Because I'm still here shopping when it's cold out. I'm bringing you busin...
Feb 19, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Get One Of Those Multicolored Pens And Blow Everyone’s Mind! Read Get One Of Those Multicolored Pens And Blow Everyone’s Mind! Me: "Are there any red pens?" Assistant: *Shrill and urgent.* "Are you a manager?!" Me: "No, I was just hired as an engineer—" Assi...
Feb 19, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com When They Make You Want To Scream AAA! Read When They Make You Want To Scream AAA! A customer walks in and hands me an open pack of non-rechargeable batteries. Customer: "I need to return these." Me: "Did they not work?" Customer: "They...
Feb 19, 2026 from JoeHx Blog Chase to Limit Cash Back Options I got the following email from Chase yesterday:
Feb 18, 2026 from BIX dot BLOG Reading My Mind Today I resumed something I’ve done before: leaving my phone at home when I go out into the neighborhood to read a book over coffee, which I do daily, or breakfast, which I do weekly. These are my ...
