May 19, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Door Dashed A Mile Away Read Door Dashed A Mile Away Caller: "My service doesn't work in my new house." Me: "Oh, did you move?" Caller: "No, same address." Me: "You said it was a new house?" Read Door Dashed A Mile Away
May 19, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Perk Of Hypocrisy Read Perk Of Hypocrisy Gladys: "Ugh! Back from smoking again? A filthy habit!" Tim: "Never said it was otherwise." Gladys: "It's an addiction! An addiction! You need help!" Tim: "Okay, well, I'm go...
May 19, 2026 from Noahie's Blog Active Surrender Carpe diem, amirite ladies? You know, even when I look at pictures of people who are now dead and wonder if they'd actually be telling me to seize the day—there's this small inclination I have to c...
May 18, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Las Vegas Strip-ped Read Las Vegas Strip-ped Me: "Hey, [Manager], why was there a robe in the filing cupboard?" Manager: "For the, uh, severely underdressed guests who regularly visit the lobby." Me: "This is a regula...
May 18, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com That’s One Heckuva Hotspot! Read That’s One Heckuva Hotspot! Realtor: "And the signal here is real good. The wifi can go out for miles." Me: *Stopping, and looking at him.* "Wifi… for miles?" Realtor: "Yeah, it's that good!" ...
May 18, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com How To Get A Police Escort Read How To Get A Police Escort I get pulled over by the police, but I'm not sure why. Officer: "Can I see your ID?" Me: "Sure, but I don’t know why you’ve stopped me." Read How To Get A Police Escort
May 18, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Drinking Without ID Is Very Old Fashioned Read Drinking Without ID Is Very Old Fashioned Me: "Can I see some ID?" Woman: "Come on. I'm fifty, and I look it." I point to a sign behind me: Sign: "We card EVERYBODY – no exceptions." Read Drin...
May 18, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com One Sick Upgrade Read One Sick Upgrade I'm talking to my supervisor: Me: "…so I'll get back to work as soon as I can with my doctor's note." Supervisor: "The note is required to state that you're specifically 'unab...
May 18, 2026 from Chronicles of Miss Miseria The stuck-but-not-dead phase is suffocating as hell. The phone cover remains ugly because honesty is expensive. 19th May 2026. 00:35 AM.today, as i made a sandwich which i was supposed to make on sunday night, but monday night it is, i thought again about the strange violence of delay. not the cinematic kind...
May 18, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Buttoned Up Early Read Buttoned Up Early Me: "No, don't press that one or you'll hang up on me. This one is BELOW the touch screen. The ONLY physical button you have on the front of the phone, you know, the big circ...
May 18, 2026 from Stranger Than Usual Zstandard Es gibt einen neuen Spieler auf dem HTTP-Transportkompressionsfeld. *Papierrascheln*: oh, was, schon seit zwei Jahren?
May 18, 2026 from The Autodidacts All Polymarket temperature markets have disappeared Along with the money bet on them?
May 18, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Signed, Sealed, Devoured Read Signed, Sealed, Devoured Organizations pay us, we pay the vendors, and the vendors handle the food. Most of the time, everything runs smoothly. Most of the time. Today wasn’t one of those days...
May 18, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Pickle Panic Read Pickle Panic A customer is in front of me in the line at the Golden Arches. I hear him whispering over and over to himself: Customer: "May I please have a McDouble without pickles? May I pleas...
May 18, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Now That’s A Light-Weight Console Read Now That’s A Light-Weight Console Teen #1: "I want to sell my PS1. How much can I get for it?" Me: "Depends, is it in good working order?" Teen #1: "It doesn’t read disks anymore, but it does ...
May 18, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Sketchy Schedule Read Sketchy Schedule I called on Sunday to check if I’m scheduled. Nope nothing. I called on Thursday again, just to make sure, since I planned to go out on Friday. Still nada. Friday evening roll...
May 18, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Not Park Or Holy Grounds Read Not Park Or Holy Grounds Me: "Hi, can I help you?" Person: "No, I'm just looking." Me: "Well, actually, this is private property over here, not the park." Person: "Oh, it's okay, I'm a local r...
May 18, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Let’s Hope The Store Has A Lost And Found Read Let’s Hope The Store Has A Lost And Found Mom: "Your dad with you?" Me: "No, he went on ahead. I'm about to go catch up with him." Mom: "He just called me. He's lost. He couldn't get through t...
May 18, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com DEI-nying Reality Read DEI-nying Reality Passenger: "Thank God. I was worried they were gonna be our pilots." Passenger's Son: "Why?" Passenger: "Oh, come on. It's soooo obvious they're DEI hires." Read DEI-nying Re...
May 18, 2026 from Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com Fast Food, Slow Recall Read Fast Food, Slow Recall Customer: "The naked chicken chalupa." Me: "Sorry, that was a seasonal product. We stopped selling that a month ago." Customer: "I'm sorry. I just recently had a concuss...
